The Confusion of Hatsune Mikuo
by Stederion
Summary: Mikuo has a big problem: He's scared of people in general. Akaito encounters Mikuo and becomes his saviour. However... (Warning: Slight undeveloped BL, not related to any song)
1. Chapter 1: First time in my life

A/N: I'm back after three months! Do I post in three-month intervals or what? Lol.

I'm very satisfied with this story. One of the best I've come up with in years. I do hope you'll like it as well. :)

* * *

Mikuo speaks

Even though he said it's not gonna hurt, among other things, I'm still scared.

"Tell Meiko to meet up with the gang after school today, same old place," he said. I'm still trying to arrange my words for the message to be relayed effectively. I have to add in who said that... Oh God, I forgot his name already.

Alright, let me recall. He's related to Shion Kaito, the famous singer who is dating my sister, of all girls. So his name must be Shion something. His name goes perfectly with his appearance, and he's, well, red, so... um, Shion Aka...? Akabito? No, something smoother. Less friction. Shion Aka... Akaito! Yes, that's it!

'Shion Akaito wants you to meet up with the gang after school at the same old place today.' Yes, now that sounds perfect. Okay, Mikuo, you can do it! Just walk into Class 2-B and say you have a message for Meiko and tell her the message! That's it! Three steps, one at a time now...

Step one, walk into Class 2-B. I check the plate above the door carefully. Is it a 2 or a 3? 2, good. Is it a B? Yes, wonderful. I'm going in...

Step two, say you have a message for Meiko. "Um... I've got a message for Meiko." Alright, that doesn't sound too bad. One step left and you're free!

Meiko walks towards me. I get nervous, which isn't part of the plan...!

"Ah... Shion... Shion Akaito wants you to..." To... to... meet up! Right. "To meet up... ah... with the... gang? Um... after school, today. Oh, at the same old place." Not as smooth as expected, but I did my job.

I leave and walk until I reach my class where Shion Akaito is waiting.

"Did you get it through?" he asks. He is copying homework and that's why I have to relay the message.

"Yes," I reply, my voice shaking slightly.

"Good." He continues with his homework. "Thanks."

I'm free now, I think, so I go back to my seat. I'm still a bit shaken. There are plenty of people okay with relaying messages, but I'm not one of them. In fact, just now was the first time I relayed a message.

I'm not exactly good with people. Well, actually, I'm scared of people. I don't think they'll laugh at me if I mess up or something like that. I'm just plain scared.

Shion Akaito is the scariest person I've ever met. He's loud, he's active, and he interferes with people like it's the most natural thing in the world. He's everything I'm not. I didn't mind him until he started interfering with me. Now that's when he really scared me.

Akaito speaks

We decided to meet at the same old place after school, but since Meito had stuff to do, he's not there when we made the decision.

I'd rather tell him myself, really, but English just had to be one of today's classes, so I told Hatsune to go tell him.

What's the deal with English? Well, you know, sometimes I forget to do homework, and sometimes the forgotten homework just had to be English, and our English teacher just had to be so strict... and all.

Alright, so, same old place after school.

"You're late, Akaito," Luki says, leaning against a wall, "Now we're one man short. When's Meito coming?"

"No idea," I reply, "Strange. He's always punctual."

"C'mon, Meito, come quick. We're hanging out at the mall today..." Rinto is sitting on the ground, concentrating on his phone. It would be great if Meito had a phone. We could just call him.

"Is he coming or not?" Len taps his foot impatiently. "Usually Meito either comes on time, or he's not coming at all."

"Maybe we should ask Meiko what Meito's up to," Gakupo says, unlocking his phone. "I've got her number."

"Do it," I say, dreading the worst: Hatsune actually hadn't gotten it through. He just happened to be there when I needed someone to relay the message. I don't know anything about him. He might have just taken a walk and lied that he'd done the job. Agh, I should have waited for Luki to come back to class.

Gakupo hangs up after a fairly long talk with Meiko. He looks bewildered as he turns to me. "Akaito, tell me how you could've mistaken Meiko for Meito. Meiko got the message instead of Meito. She's terribly confused."

"What!" So that's how it is! Hatsune thought it was Meiko! "I told someone to relay the message because I was busy..." I explain.

"That must have been a terrible someone," Gakupo says, shaking his head.

"So is Meito coming?" Luki asks.

"No. He's busy," Gakupo replies.

"Busy, busy, busy." Len sighs. "What a busybody."

"So are we going to the mall or not?" Rinto asks.

"Of course we are," Luki says, "Let's go now."

"Sure..." I've never felt so dumb before in my life.

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A/N: Actually this sprouted from my personal experience, a scary one where I had to make announcements to two classes... Relaying messages are really scary, especially when you're asked to do that just because you happen to be there... I was screaming in my head 'NO NO NO I CAN'T POSSIBLY DO THAT!' but I did it anyway. Whew...

Thanks for reading! :D


	2. Chapter 2: Scary truth

A/N: Posting chapter two this soon because I got a review! Reviews catalyse posting, y'know XD

Here you go!

* * *

Mikuo speaks

I am quite happy I made a breakthrough, relaying messages for the first time ever. I must remember to thank Shion Akaito for forcing me to it.

But... how?

It is the day after I relayed the message. I must thank him before too much time passes by. Yet, I am hesitant to do so. He's the scariest person I've ever met. I have to force myself to thank him, harder than he had forced me to relay a message. Come on, Mikuo. You can do it. Just thank him for a start. It's easy. Everything else comes after that.

The moment I get to talk to him, I quickly say, "Thank you." Now that's not too hard, right? Good job, Mikuo.

"Huh? What for?" He looks puzzled. Alright, Mikuo, time to explain. Slowly now.

"Yesterday, you told me to relay a message. Actually it's the first time I did that, so..." Oh God... What comes after 'so'?

"Oh, really? Um, you're welcome." He looks uneasy.

I am relieved for not having to continue my sentence. "That's... that's all." Okay, now I'm free again. Very good.

"But, well, Hatsune, you know..." he starts to say, then quickly shuts up.

Oh, no. I'm not free yet? "Um, yeah?" I try to sound casual, like it's no big deal. In truth I'm more scared than ever.

He looks hesitant. "The thing is... It's Meito, not Meiko."

Akaito speaks

I regret telling Hatsune what he did. Blame my big mouth. Why can't I just keep quiet, accept his thanks and walk away? I feel awful now.

Hatsune's face reddens quickly. He blinks once. Twice.

"Ah! I'm sorry!" I say, but that sounds so fake that I can't believe it myself. "I... I didn't mean anything, honest! I... It just..." How do you explain your big mouth to someone? Maybe I really meant bad, pointing out his mistake like that after he thanked me. I'm such a bad guy...

Hatsune shakes his head. "I'm the one who should be sorry." He's looking down at the floor now, so I can't see his expression.

"Hatsune, I know it's stupid to say this but, don't mind that, okay? I'm glad you're willing to help me. Really," I say, trying to ease him a little.

"No... thanks for telling me the truth." Hatsune looks up at me. He smiles a bit. I didn't expect him to smile.

"I... Ice-cream! I'll treat you to ice-cream after school, okay?" It's my only way of repaying his kindness. What kindness, you ask? Well, isn't it obvious? He's hurt but he doesn't show it, and he's probably doing that so that I'll feel less guilty. That's kindness enough for me.

"Huh...?" He looks kind of scared. I don't understand this.

"It's settled, then. Ice-cream after school!" I quickly say, since classes will start soon. I don't know what he's looking scared for, but no one can say 'no' to free ice-cream, right?

I admit I'm not a social expert. Sure, I have my friends and club stuff and all that, but I'm clueless about people as it is. Whenever I get stuck in an awkward situation, I try to wing myself out of it. I hate getting stuck in awkward situations. It makes me feel uncomfortable and helpless.

Mikuo speaks

To be honest, I don't get Shion Akaito at all, and that scares me even more. I set up a guide for myself in regards to communicating with people, and that is to go with the flow. If I hadn't done that, my fear of people would have overtaken me.

So, Mikuo, just go with the flow.

'After school' seems like a long way off when Shion Akaito said it, but we are already at the ice-cream stall now.

"So, Hatsune, which flavour do you like?" Shion Akaito asks.

No flow to go with now... I read the menu carefully. Is mint on the list? Yes. That's great. "Um... mint..."

He looks at me, smiles, then says to the vendor, "Make it two, please."

It's good that I'm not the one doing the ordering, because I never know what to say. I try smiling back at Shion Akaito in thanks, but he doesn't seem to notice.

"Here you go," Shion Akaito says, holding an ice-cream in front of me.

"Thank you..." I take the ice-cream. I notice that he has a similar one in his hand. That means we both like mint, then.

"I'd love to chat, but I still have club activities so I'm going back to school now," he says.

That explains why he didn't bring his school bad along when we went out of the school. "Okay," I say.

"See ya!" He waves, then heads towards the school.

"B-Bye!" I don't know if I said it loud enough. I think it doesn't matter, since he left first.

I continue to head on home. I feel something bursting inside of me. A feeling, perhaps. I'm not too sure. It must be excitement, since my heartbeat goes faster. It has been a long time since I have properly communicated with someone and felt anything.

* * *

A/N: Y'know, I have a big exam coming up and my mum's not too happy with me staying online for too long and stuff... But I'm determined to complete this 13-chapter story within this month. The manuscript's all done. I just need to type them out... Guhh...


	3. Chapter 3: Talk to me

A/N: Must... update... asap...

So here you go!

* * *

Akaito speaks

I like Hatsune Mikuo. He's quiet and a bit puzzling, but I like him like that. He's also kind, so that makes him a good person at heart.

I'm gonna make him my friend. And then maybe he'll join the gang. That sounds like fun.

"Hatsune!" I call as soon as I see him. He looks at me. I go over to him. "Sorry about yesterday. I meant to talk with you all the way home. Do you have time after school today? Maybe then we can have a little chat."

He looks away, looks at me, then looks away again. "Uh..."

"Are you busy this afternoon?" I try to make it easier for him to answer.

"No..." He looks hesitant.

"Okay, so we'll talk after school. Don't worry, it's just a little chat," I tell him. From what I've seen of him, he's terrible at talking. Thinks too much, talks too little. If we become friends, maybe he'll open up more.

"Oh... Okay..." He looks scared again.

Mikuo speaks

That's an awful lot of scary 'after school's. I prefer yesterday's to today's.

I've never been so scared and nervous before in my life. Chat after school with the scariest person I've ever met? I feel like going home.

Shion Akaito is not a bad guy, it's just that he's too outgoing for my liking. That, and he talks to me too much. He seems to know that I don't talk a lot, but he doesn't care at all. Either that, or he's determined to force me to talk.

I don't hate him. Seriously, I don't. He treated me to ice-cream, he smiled at me, and he talks to me like he would any other person. Yes, I don't like him talking too much, but I'm grateful that he talked to me.

I missed a lot of the lessons because I was worrying instead of concentrating.

"Can I call you Mikuo?" Shion Akaito asks, sitting down in front of me. It's directly after school and I'm mildly surprised that he chose to talk in the classroom.

I nod. I don't really care about how people call me, or doing the scariest thing in my life yet in the classroom. I'm such a 'whatever' person.

He smiles. "You can call me Akaito."

I stare him in unbelief. How on earth did he do that? He just spoke his name so normally! I can't say names like that, especially mine.

He looks puzzled. "Is anything wrong, Mikuo?"

I feel my face heat up. How long has it been since I last heard someone call me by my given name? It seems like ages ago. "... No..."

"Your face is all red. Are you ill?" he asks.

"No..." I put a hand to my face. It's burning.

"Oh." He smiles again, looking relieved. "Do you want to take a walk in the park? It's getting stuffy in here." He stands up.

"Okay." I take my school bag and stand up, too.

Alright, Mikuo, you're doing great, going with the flow. Let Akaito take you wherever he goes. Then maybe your biggest dream will come true.

Your dream of actually having a best friend.

Akaito speaks

It's going smoothly, I think. Actually all I did was talk and all Mikuo did was give me one-word answers.

We're currently on the way to the park. Mikuo doesn't know where the park is so I have to guide him. I'd rather we walk side by side, but he looks more comfortable following me.

"So your house isn't in this direction," I say. If it were, he would have known where the park is.

Mikuo doesn't answer. He must have nodded. I can't see since he's behind me.

"Hey, do you mind if I go to your house this weekend?" I ask.

No answer.

I turn back to see him looking down at the ground. He had stopped a little while before I did so we're a few steps apart. I walk the few steps back.

I'm slightly taller than he is so I could only see his black hair. Speaking of his hair, it's an unusual black. Somehow unnatural. I don't know how it's unnatural, it just feels so. I call him. "Mikuo?"

He looks up, his eyes glistening wet.

Did I say anything wrong? My mind was blank for a second before I say his name again. "Mikuo...?"

He looks away. "I... I'm sorry. I have to... go home."

He turns to go, but I instinctively grab his hand. Mikuo really is a puzzle of a person. He makes me want to piece him together, to figure out what is going on in that silent mind of his.

So I hold on. "I'm not letting you go home." Okay, now that's uncalled for, but I'm having trouble looking for the right words to say.

He looks at me, and he gets emotional all of a sudden. "Let me go! Don't touch me! Get... get away from me!"

Surprised and a bit shocked, I let go.

He runs away.

Mikuo speaks

Not again! Not when things are going fine!

My uncontrollable fear overtook me again. Akaito really scared me back there. It's as if he was far away in one second, and in the next he's suddenly right in front of me, and getting nearer as time passes by.

His asking to come over was the first step. His calling me name were the next two, since he called it twice. His grabbing my hand was the last, and the worst.

I felt a mental claustrophobia back there.

My hands are shaking as I try to fit the key in the lock. I am in front of my home right now, trying to get in.

My home is a little apartment some distance away from school. I don't live with my family, or what remains of it. I don't know any relatives except for my sister, and I don't get along with my sister.

The lock finally clicks and I swing the door open, letting myself in.

I close the door behind me and take off my shoes, my hands trembling all the time.

If I had been calmer and answered Akaito's question normally, I could still be on the way to being friends with him.

I have to apologise tomorrow... but today's Friday. I only see him in school. That means the earliest I can see him again is on Monday, which is two days away.

Two days is too wide a gap to apologise... By then Akaito would have forgotten about it, or gotten so angry about it that an apology wouldn't suffice.

I shouldn't have run away. I shouldn't have lost control.

"I'm sorry, Akaito..." I say his name slowly. Carefully.

I'm... scared.

* * *

A/N: That's it for this chapter. Next chapter coming up real soon!


	4. Chapter 4: I'm sorry

A/N: Last chapter for today! I'm tired...

Enjoy! :D

* * *

Mikuo speaks

Today is Monday. Akaito is absent today.

The teacher said that Akaito is in hospital because he met with an accident yesterday. It's not too serious, but obviously serious enough for him to be hospitalised.

The teacher also told us the hospital and room Akaito is in, so that we can visit him.

I made up my mind to visit Akaito after school.

It's a scarier 'after school' than the last two. Firstly because I'll be going to a place I've never been to before, and secondly because it's a decision I made. I don't trust myself to make decisions, but the apology cannot wait any longer.

I take a deep breath and leave the school. This is something too big to be arranged in steps.

Going to the hospital should be easy. It's on the signs.

I try my best to remember the roads. I'll go back to school afterwards and go home from there.

I sigh in relief as the hospital comes into view. Now I have to go in and find Akaito. I step through the automatic doors and look for the lifts.

I find the lifts immediately. I go into one along with some people. I am somehow at the back so I cannot press the buttons. I'm too scared to ask someone to press a number for me so I wait until I can reach the panel.

Akaito is on the third floor. The lift stops at the third floor, miraculously. I step off the lift quickly since there's enough space for me to walk out.

I find Akaito's room with no trouble. I'm good at confirming things over and over in my mind, it seems.

I open the door. It's a shared room so there's another patient in there. Akaito is there, on the bed, surrounded by flowers and get well cards, and he's not alone.

He's with a group of students from our school. They are talking, so I stand against the wall, waiting for my turn.

They don't seem to go. It's getting late and I'm getting hungry. I still have a length of road to walk before getting home. I still have to prepare dinner, since I don't have money with me.

When they finally start to leave, they see me and they look surprised.

Akaito sees me too.

I wait until the group leaves, then walks over to Akaito.

I don't have a plan for talking to Akaito.

"Hi," Akaito says.

"H-hi..." I reply.

"It's nice of you to visit me." He smiles.

"Does it hurt?" No! Mikuo, you idiot! It's 'Are you okay'!

"A little." His smile grows wider.

He must be laughing at me inside. My eyes dart around the way they usually do when I get helpless. "Uh... I'm sorry."

"Whatever for?" he asks. His voice suddenly sounds... gentle.

"For last time," I say, unsure of what else to say.

"It's okay," he says. He smiles.

I'm forgiven. I've done all I should do here. I should go home now. "That's... all. I'll be going now."

His smile falters. "... Oh, well, see you."

"See you." I walk out.

Akaito speaks

Mikuo could've stayed longer. I don't want to sound selfish here, but he really could've stayed longer.

Well, maybe he's hurrying home. Can't blame him for that.

I'm bored.

Kaito came home for weekend. He brought his girlfriend home and announced that he's going to help her become a singer.

I didn't care about whatever my younger twin said until he mentioned her name.

Hatsune Miku.

I then figured the chances of her being related to Mikuo. She had teal hair and eyes, but Mikuo had black ones, so there's not much chance. It's probably just a coincidence that they have similar names.

Probably.

I couldn't be sure, so I asked Hatsune Miku if she knew any Mikuo.

"Mikuo? He's my brother," she managed to answer before Kikaito asked her when she started going out with Kaito.

If the Mikuo I know really is her brother, then something's wrong.

Mikuo's hair is an unnatural black, which means he could've dyed it. Contact lenses could've hidden his irises easily. Why do that? To avoid attention, most probably. But what if there's a deeper reason to it? What if Mikuo was trying to tell the world that he wants nothing to do with Miku?

I didn't get to talk to Hatsune Miku any further after that, so my questions are still unanswered.

The puzzle named Mikuo is getting more and more interesting by the minute. The urge to figure him out is getting stronger, maybe even stronger than my desire to be friends with him.

I'll admit this: Hatsune Mikuo has my full attention now.

* * *

A/N: That's it for today! Thanks for reading! :)


	5. Chapter 5: Nice to meet you

A/N: You guys are so good to me! I'm so happy to get reviews :D

Will try to update as often as possible, since dragging it out kinda makes the "impact" less effective...

* * *

Mikuo speaks

"Hi, Mikuo."

I look up from my homework to see Luki looking at me.

I know Luki and Luki knows me. We used to be neighbours before we grew up and I left to live on my own. Even though we know each other, we're not quite friends, so I'm surprised he'll talk to me.

"Hi..." I answer.

Luki smiles. "So you became friends with Akaito. I didn't think I'd see you at the hospital yesterday."

I had business to attend to, of course I would be there. I nod.

"But, really, what's keeping Akaito? A friend of Akaito's is a friend of the gang's, but so far he hasn't introduced you yet." Luki looks curiously at me. "Hm, is Akaito trying to have you all to himself?"

Why would he do that? "I don't know," I say.

"It doesn't matter anymore, anyway." Luki smiles at me. "I'm introducing you to the gang after school."

There it is, the phrase I dread.

'After school'.

Akaito speaks

I'm trying my best not to think too much about Mikuo, because thinking doesn't help. But things are so boring here that I can't help thinking.

The door opens, and Hatsune Miku comes in.

Talk about surprises.

"Where's Kaito?" I ask.

"I told him I want to talk to you alone." Miku smiles. I try to imagine that smile on Mikuo, but it doesn't seem right at all.

"Hm? What do you want to talk about?" I bet it's about Mikuo.

"My brother." Miku puts on a concerned expression. "You see, he's sort of rebellious, and I haven't been able to contact him ever since he left the house."

Mikuo? Rebellious? Leave the house? Are you sure you're not kidding? I think for a while. "I think the Mikuo I know is not your brother."

"It can't be." Miku frowns. "Tell me, is your Mikuo quiet and scared and basically a little bit abnormal?"

"... Yeah..." It doesn't make sense. I can't picture Mikuo being rebellious.

"Then that's him." Miku sighs. "I know it's hard to imagine Mikuo doing all that, but once he's over the edge, he'd do anything. I didn't know that, of course, so I was really shocked when I found him gone."

"Over the edge? What happened?" I prod.

"Well, actually, he just went over the edge. During that time, I was trying to become a singer. Mikuo didn't mind when I told him about my dream, but when I started realising the dream, he started to panic. He's always scared of people, actually. He must have known my potential and thought that it's just a matter of time before I become a singer. Being a singer's brother would be a disaster for someone like him, so he ran."

Now that makes sense. The cloud covering Mikuo is getting clearer now. So Mikuo's scared of people... I've got that feeling for some time now. The problem at hand is to discover ways to get close without scaring him. I'll have to be careful not to push him over the edge like Miku did...

Miku telling me about Mikuo solves half of the puzzle. The other half I'll have to solve it myself.

It's this challenging half that I'm worried about.

Mikuo speaks

"Guys, allow me to introduce Hatsune Mikuo." Luki puts a hand on my shoulder. Sudden panic courses through me, but I bite my lip.

Meeting new people, having someone touch me... I'm ready to explode now.

"This is Rinto, that's Len, this one's Gakupo, and that's Meito," Luki tells me. I can't take it all in, even though there's only four people.

Let's see... Meito's easy because I met his sister before, and thanks to my mistake I don't think I'll forget about him soon. The guy with long purple hair is... Po? C'mon, Mikuo, think! Rakupo? No, something harder. Dakupo? Oh, right! Gakupo! Purple Gakupo! Now commit this into memory!

The other two are more difficult. They're almost identical. Let's see... The one with hairpins is called... Rin... to, I believe? Rinto. Yup. Hairpin Rinto. The one left is Len! I like him the most because his name is easy to remember.

Meito, Gakupo, Len and Rinto. I did it! I remember their names!

"Hello? Mikuo, are you listening?" Luki waves his hand in front of me.

"No," I say rather quickly. I answered without thinking again! But it's okay this time because I'm happy I can remember the names of four people I just met.

Len rolls his eyes. "The kid's not paying attention!" Now I don't like Len that much already, because he looks mean.

"We're going to the hospital, Mikuo... I can call you that, right?" Rinto says lazily.

I nod. The hospital? To see Akaito again, huh... But... I don't have anything to do there...

"Let's go now," Gakupo says, "We've lost enough time chatting."

Meito remained silent all the time, but the silence is not my kind of silence. My silence is a scared one, but his is the opposite. Meito's silence makes people scared. He has a scary aura around him.

"Come on, Mikuo," Luki says to me, smiling again.

Luki has never been so nice to me before... maybe it's because he didn't get the opportunity to, since we rarely meet.

I try to smile back in thanks. I don't know how it looks like, but Luki nods, as if he received it.

All this seems so impossible for me. How did I do it? How did I get along so... easily?

Is this because of Akaito...?

* * *

A/N: That's all for today, because I'm really tired and my parents are nagging at me again... sigh... FYI I'm currently writing a new fanfic which, if finished on time, will be posted in December. After I'm done posting all the chapters of this story, I don't think I'll want to spend so much time online...


	6. Chapter 6: We meet again

A/N: New chapter yay! Haha... Well actually I dunno what to say here anymore...

* * *

Akaito speaks

Miku leaves to call Kaito in, leaving me alone to think things through. It's strange how my brain never gets tired of thinking.

Mikuo obviously hates it when I get close too fast. Getting close includes asking anything about him, saying his name and making physical contact. So it'd be best to start out talking about general stuff, then slowly closing in on him without him noticing. The thing is, I don't know how to do that.

I sigh and rub my temples. What a load of trouble just to be friends... But it will be worth it... right?

The door opens and Miku comes back with Kaito.

"Hello, nii-san," Kaito says, smiling at me.

"Hey," I reply, trying to sound cheerful. Ever since Kaito became a famous singer, I've been thinking of him as a different person altogether. It's as if my younger twin disappeared and a singer took his place. An invisible gap has been widening between us ever since. It's not the end of our bond, though. Brothers stay brothers.

"So how's it going?" Kaito asks, sitting on the chair beside the bed.

"Fine. Doctor says I'll be good to go tomorrow," I say. I've never expected myself to say this, but I kind of miss school.

"That's good." Kaito smiles, then glances at Miku. "I've heard about Miku's brother. Seems like quite a handful to me."

"He is." I nod. "Which makes it all the more interesting, right?"

"Hm, yeah..." Kaito leans back in the chair. "But don't befriend him just because it's interesting, 'kay?"

"Hey, I'm not one to do that, and don't you lecture your older brother." I fake an angry expression, then laugh.

"Do you mean that you like Mikuo as he is?" Miku asks. She looks worried, now that I look closely.

"But of course!" I put on a proud face. "I don't befriend people just for fun, you know."

"There, Miku. I told you. If it's nii-san, you can stop worrying," Kaito says to Miku, smiling in assurance.

The door opens once again. I look to see the gang walking in. I then look closer. Something's different with the gang today...

Mikuo is with them?!

I panic, then look at Miku. Before I get to open my mouth to tell her, Mikuo falls down.

I think he fainted.

Mikuo speaks

The smell of medicine invades my senses before I open my eyes. I immediately remember that I am at the hospital. Remembering that brings up a lot more information. I walked with Luki and the others to the hospital, and then I saw nee-san and Shion Kaito next to Akaito. I panicked and was lost in the sea of emotions. I wanted to scream but I remembered that I'm at a hospital so I let the emotions drown me until I fainted.

I don't remember what emotions I felt exactly, but I remember feeling desperate as the rushed through my mind.

So... where am I now?

I open my eyes. Akaito's red hair and eyes pierce my view.

"You're awake," I hear Akaito's voice say.

I try to focus as I look around. I'm sitting on a chair next to the bed and facing Akaito. I don't see anyone else. No nee-san, no Kaito, no Luki and the others. Just me and Akaito.

I heave a sigh of relief. Akaito is like an oasis compared to so many new people.

"I asked them to leave," Akaito says.

"Oh." I don't care what happened. I'm happy enough to know that they're gone.

"Um, so, Miku told me," Akaito says, "About you running away and stuff."

Akaito knows... If I didn't know him, I'd be terrified, but I do, so I'm okay with that. It doesn't really affect me anyway. "Oh." I feel my face heat up, so I know I was wrong to think it doesn't affect me. Akaito is cracking my shell and peering in. That's... embarrassing.

But, strangely, I feel that being embarrassed in front of Akaito is okay, too. This is surprising, but I think Akaito doesn't scare me anymore. I think it's because we talked. We talked and I got used to him. I know his ways so he doesn't scare me anymore.

I think I'm cured of my fear of Akaito. Not people. Just Akaito.

I smile when I realise that.

Dare I assume that my dream of having a friend is achieved?

"Mikuo, are you listening? Hey, Mikuo?" Akaito's voice which had been droning on in the background suddenly changes to a different tone.

I look at him. I actually like hearing him call my name. This is weird...

"You weren't listening," Akaito says.

"No," I admit. I was busy coping with the changes inside me. Akaito passed the test to be someone I can trust. I can tell him all my thoughts and he won't think it's rubbish. We can be friends now.

Finally...

"Come on, Mikuo, I asked you a question!" Akaito sounds annoyed.

"What question?" I realise that I'm still scared if Akaito shows any signs of anger.

"Can I see a picture of you with your original hair colour?" Akaito asks, sounding tired. He must have repeated that lots of times.

"Yes." I want to add 'of course' but my mouth isn't used to talking so much. I take out my wallet and pull out my identity card.

Akaito takes it from me, his fingers brushing against mine for a moment. It's supposed to trigger the alarm in my head, but since it's Akaito, it's okay.

"You look like a different person." Akaito whistles, looking at my picture. "Quite cute, actually. Do you mind that?" He looks at me.

"No." To be honest, I like that. I like praise from people I know. because they can't possibly be lying since they know me.

Akaito smiles, and I smile back immediately.

Akaito looks down at my picture, then gives my identity card back to me. "Is it me or are you actually less hostile today?"

Okay, Mikuo, talk. Talk like you've never talked before. "Actually I just got ready to be friends. All this while I had been unsure if you'd just come and go or stay in my life. I can't be friends with someone who doesn't want to stay."

Akaito seems surprised. His mouth hangs open in shock.

"So... so I decided to believe that you'll stay, so now we can be friends," I continue, because Akaito didn't talk.

Akaito closes his mouth, and then he smiles. "It sure is weird hearing you talk so much."

"I... I feel like that too," I say.

"Just when I was worrying about how to make you open up..." Akaito sighs and shakes his head. "It must be a miracle."

A miracle? That reminds me...

I smile. "Speaking of miracles, you are one yourself."

Akaito raises an eyebrow. "Oh?"

"You are my miracle," I say.

* * *

A/N: Didja get the BL vibe? Cuz my friend did XDD

Next chapter coming up soon!


	7. Chapter 7: Getting used to it

A/N: Ah, this chapter... I'd be really happy if you enjoy it too :)

* * *

Akaito speaks

This is my first day at school after the accident.

First day of my school life with Mikuo as my friend, too.

"Hi, Mikuo," I greet as soon as I see him.

"Hi..." he answers. He looks at me and smiles.

I smile back.

He returns to whatever homework he was doing.

... Don't you have anything to say to me, Mikuo? I sigh and go to my seat.

"Welcome back, Akaito," Luki says, coming over to me. He puts a pile of papers and books on my desk. "Have fun doing your homework. No need to thank me."

I look at the pile, then at Luki. "You did not mix in your own homework, did you?" I was absent for a while last year, and Len, being my classmate, did just that.

Luki looks surprised. "You just gave me an idea, Akaito. I'll remember to do that next time." He grins.

"Please don't do that. I beg you." I sit at my desk. The pile seems to grow bigger and bigger...

"Oh, I forgot to ask. What happened in there? We're all pretty anxious to know," Luki says, taking a seat in front of me.

"In where?" What on earth is he talking about?

"You know, at the hospital. What happened after you chased us out? What did you do to poor Mikuo?" Luki leans in closer. "Did you confess your love to him?"

"What kind of person did you think I am? I waited until he woke up, and then we talked." I sneak a glance at Mikuo. He's looking at us...

"Talked about what exactly?" Luki asks, narrowing his eyes.

"Himself, mostly." I shrug. "And then we officially became friends."

Luki nods, pretending to jot down points on an invisible notebook with an invisible pen. "Yes, yes. Did you two kiss?"

"... Are you even listening?"

Luki looks offended. "Of course I am! You said you became lovers."

"Gah, leave me alone. I have homework to do."

Luki laughs. "Glad to have you back. I'll be off now."

"Shoo," I say.

Mikuo speaks

Hm... Well... I'm upset. I know it's kind of mean to feel upset, but I'm upset when I saw Akaito and Luki talking. They're talking as if they hadn't a care in the world. I can't do that. I'll be worrying about truths and lies and all...

I wonder if Akaito has problems with my way of talking...

I stash my pencil case into my school bag.

"Yo, Mikuo." Someone pats my shoulder, making me scream.

I turn to see Luki. His eyes were wide in surprise. I feel the heat rush to my face as I realise what I had done.

"Easy there, Mikuo." Luki smiles shakily. "I'm not gonna eat you."

"I... I'm sorry." I look down at the floor.

"Oi, Luki. I told you to be gentle with him," Akaito's voice says.

"I thought he'd gotten over it," Luki replies.

"Anyway, Mikuo, you coming with us?" Akaito asks.

I look up at them. "Ah...?"

"The gang's having lunch together. Wanna come along?" Akaito looks at me, smiling.

"Um..." There I go again. Lunch with other people... I try not to notice the shiver down my spine. "I... I'll be fine by myself."

"You're part of the gang now. Do come along," Luki says. He's smiling too.

"Uh..." My eyes dart around again.

Akaito reaches out and grabs my hand. "C'mon."

"Ah!" I get pulled to my feet. "B-but I-"

"I'll be there, so don't worry. You've been with them before too, haven't you?" Akaito says, his smile reassuring me a bit.

"O-okay..." I say, my voice trembling.

Luki laughs. "As they say, 'Leave it all to Akaito'! Akaito, I am once more in awe of your awesome tactics."

Akaito laughs too. "Thank you, thank you. Firstly, I want to thank my parents-"

"Cut it out, you stuck up brother of a singer." Luki elbowed Akaito in the ribs. "Hey, what do you plan on having for lunch? I feel like eating some ramen."

"Whatever, I guess." Akaito shrugs. He looks at me. "What about you, Mikuo?"

"Um... Anything will do." The more I hear of their conversation, the more left out I feel. But I can't just stop listening in, since they're next to me.

Luki suddenly looks right at me, making me yelp. He appears to be studying me, the way he knits his eyebrows.

"I said, be gentle to him! You scared him again," Akaito scolds.

"Shut it, Akaito. I haven't been able to get this close to Mikuo for ages," Luki says, cupping my face with his hands. "Now that I have a better look, Mikuo's quite adorable... Your type, Akaito?"

I stand still, trying to suppress my urge to cry. C'mon, Mikuo, keep it in. You can do it. It's not big deal...

Akaito slaps Luki's hand away, and I give him a grateful smile. "No touching, Megurine Luki," he warns, "Can't you see that you scared him?"

Luki sighs. "Let's just get lunch. I'm hungry."

Akaito speaks

Doesn't Luki get it? He can't mess with Mikuo the way he does with the rest of the gang! Mikuo's a special case!

I make sure no one sits next to Mikuo except for me during lunch, so that Mikuo will feel safer. Luki gives me an incredulous look.

"You're overdoing it," Luki says.

"No, I'm not." I glance at Mikuo. He is eating his rice shakily. "I'm just trying to create a favourable condition for him."

"Say it any way you like. From how I see it, you're way too protective of him. What's wrong with mixing in sometimes?" Luki sits across from Mikuo. "Right, Mikuo?"

Mikuo looks up at him, then turns to me for help. He hadn't been listening, obviously.

"Just leave him alone," I say. Too protective of him? It's only reasonable to make sure that Mikuo feels safe, because we're friends and friends look out for each other.

Gakupo joins us at the table, sitting beside Luki. "Hello, Mikuo," he says, looking to Mikuo. Gah! Can't you guys just leave him alone?

"H-hi..." Mikuo answers.

I frown to show that I disapprove of any further interaction, but only Luki sees my frown. Gakupo doesn't even look in my direction.

"You can smile, you know?" Gakupo says, "You'd look great if you smiled."

Mikuo nods timidly.

Len takes a seat beside Gakupo. "Leave the kid be. He smiles to no one but his dear friend Akaito."

Gakupo sighs. "I suppose so..."

Rinto plops down beside Len. "Lennnnnnnn... You done being the bad guy yet? I've got a banana..." It still amazes me how Rinto says everything so slowly and lazily.

"Save the best for the last." Len turns to Rinto, his eyes sparkling.

Rinto smiles a lazy smile. Yeah, smiles can be lazy if they're Rinto's.

Meito comes over and sits down beside me.

The atmosphere at the table takes a turn as everyone suddenly stops talking.

Meito eyes Mikuo. "The lone wolf," he says, then smiles a smile I don't know how to describe. "As I used to be until the Sun comes along." He glances at me.

"Stop referring to me as the Sun, Meito," I say.

Meito looks away, the smile still etched on his face. "Lovely."

I can just feel everyone shiver.

* * *

A/N: Meito's awesome :D

That's all for today! Thanks for reading :)


	8. Chapter 8: He'll understand

A/N: I'm back! I'll try to update as many chapters as I can, so please bear with me :)

Enjoy!

* * *

Akaito speaks

It's cloudy and windy today, so I decided to hang out at the mall by myself. Sometimes you just need a breather from all those social activities, right?

Besides, Kaito had been nagging at me to replenish the ice-cream storage back home.

So right now I'm walking between shelves, looking out for anything I'd like for dinner before I purchase the whole ice-cream section.

Yes, the whole ice-cream section part was an exaggeration. So what.

I wait as a worker arranges some canned tuna on a shelf, because I think I'd get some to mix in with Kaito's ice-cream when he's not looking.

I can tell the worker is crazy about being neat because he even rotated the cans so that the brand names are all facing outwards.

He reminds me of Mikuo, in a way.

The worker finishes his work and turns around.

I get the shock of my life.

It IS Mikuo.

Mikuo speaks

I manage to suppress my voice just in time. I can't afford another scream.

Akaito stands in front of me, eyes wide in surprise. "But... how...?"

"Uh, hi," I say as I try to smile.

"You actually have a part time job?!" Akaito asks in unbelief.

"Um, yes... My savings don't last, you know," I reply.

"How did you get the job?" Akaito reaches out and pats my face. "You're Hatsune Mikuo, right?"

I laugh uneasily. "I forced myself to go for the interview."

Akaito stares at me, then a smile gradually warms his face. "You're amazing, Mikuo... I... I'm proud of you. Really."

"Thank you." I smile back, feeling happy and helpless at the same time.

"How long till you're done?" Akaito asks. "Maybe we can go someplace later."

I look at my watch. It's 5.52 pm, which means I'll be done in... 8 minutes... right? I'll be done at 6.00 pm, so 52 plus 8 makes it 60, makes it 6.00 pm... Oh, it's 5.53 pm already, so that makes it 7 minutes more... "7 minutes," I say.

"Perfect!" Akaito says as I look up at him. "I'll wait until you're done, and then I'll pay for the stuff, then we'll go to my house to drop off the stuff and then we'll go anywhere!"

"... Okay," I say.

"See you then!" Akaito smiles, takes a can of tuna, then leaves.

Akaito speaks

I know I said something about taking a breather from social activities, but Mikuo's another case altogther. I'm his only friend, and I'm not letting him down.

"Thanks for helping," I say. We're currently on the way to my house. I bought a bit too much ice-cream so Mikuo offered to help carry some.

"You're welcome," Mikuo says behind me. "Um... you like ice-cream a lot, don't you?"

I smile. I love it when Mikuo starts a topic on his own instead of just going along. I don't know why I do; I just do. "Compared to Kaito's obsession, I don't really like ice-cream that much. I like peppers a lot more."

"Peppers...? It fits you, seeing that you're all red and stuff," Mikuo says.

Oh God! I can't stop bursting with pride! Mikuo's all opened up now! I laugh. "Yeah, I guess so. Habanero all the way!" I wait for a while before asking, "How about you? What's your favourite food?"

Silence.

I turn around.

Mikuo is there, thank goodness. He looks troubled, though. "I... don't know," he says, looking down.

"It's okay," I say, "At least I know you like mint ice-cream."

He looks up at me, eyes wide in, hm, surprise? "You remember?"

"Of course I do." I smile. I continue walking. "My house is just around the corner," I tell him.

"Oh... okay," he says.

Mikuo speaks

We arrive at Akaito's place and Akaito starts putting away the stuff he bought. Akaito's house is slightly larger than the others around it. He said it's not the main house so it's relatively small. Currently the only ones living at his place are himself, Kaito, and another brother named Shion Kikaito.

"No one's home right now," Akaito says, placing yet another tub of ice-cream in the refrigerator. "So you can stop worrying."

I stare at him. "You know I'm worrying...?"

He laughs. "I'm your friend, remember?"

"Yes," I reply.

There is one tub of ice-cream left. Akaito does not put it in the refrigerator. Instead, he takes off the lid and smiles at me. "Want some?"

Can I really? But the others might come back anytime... "Uh..."

"Ah, I'm so stupid." Akaito takes two spoons from the kitchen table next to the refrigerator. He gives me one. "Dig in."

I take the spoon. "Uh... just like this?"

Akaito was already scooping up a spoonful. "Hm? What do you mean?"

"Like... shouldn't we transfer some to a bowl or something?" Agh, I don't know how to put it...

"That's so troublesome." Akaito puts he spoon of ice-cream in his mouth.

"... Oh." Well... I guess... mixing a little bit saliva wouldn't hurt... I position my spoon at the edge of the tub.

"Ah, Mikuo, can you try to keep the hole at the centre? I'm making a little surprise for Kaito," Akaito says, stopping me.

"Okay," I say.

We eat in silence for a while, then Akaito says, "This should be enough." He takes a bowl and puts some ice-cream in it.

I look at him in wonder.

He grins as he takes out the can of tuna he bought earlier. He opens the can skilfully and starts filling the hole in the tub of ice-cream with spoonfuls of tuna.

I stand and watch in speechless shock.

Before the hole is completely filled with tuna, Akaito stops. He covers the top with the ice-cream he put in the bowl. He smiles at his handiwork, then puts on the lid. "There you go. A perfect present for dear Kaito," he says, sliding the 'little surprise' into the refrigerator.

"Is it okay to do this?" I ask, recovering from shock.

"Don't worry, it's okay." Akaito starts cleaning up, so I help him. "After all, he deserves it, dumping my precious habaneros in the dustbin and all that."

I don't get it. Is it customary to pull pranks on your brothers? Won't they get angry? I shudder. I am helplessly terrified of angry people.

Akaito starts to hum a song. I know that song. It's one of Kaito's hits.

"Where are we going afterwards?" I ask.

Akaito smiles a wide smile. "We'll have dinner, then I'm going to spend the night at your place."

"WHAT!" I scream without thinking. NONONONONO! Living with someone else is just... NO! No way! No more! Not again!

"Oh, c'mon, Mikuo. I'm bringing my homework over. I don't know how to do most of it so I'm counting on you to help me out. When it's all done it'll be late so I'm gonna stay at your place," he explains, putting the cleaned spoons and bowl away.

"I can help you right here," I said, trying alternative ways.

"Kaito and Kikaito will be back after dinner," Akaito states plainly, "And Kaito's holding a party tonight in our house. I need to steer clear of any noise so that I can concentrate."

"You can do homework another time," I say, "Or you can ask the gang to help."

Akaito laughs. "Ask the stupid gang? Nah. As for another time, I'm afraid I don't get in the mood to do homework very often."

I try to think of other excuses, but I'm running out of options.

He sighs. "I know you're strongly uncomfortable with this, since you're obviously trying to avoid it, but just bear with me for a while, okay?"

"... Okay." Mikuo, it's okay. It's just one night. Nothing to get scared about. You'll be fine. Akaito is trustworthy. He won't harm you. It's okay. It's okay...

But... I'm still nervous...

* * *

A/N: There you go! My stamina is failing me, but I'll try to update as much as possible today!


	9. Chapter 9: I just want to

A/N: I'd like to report that I'm going strong and typing at full speed, but that's not the case QAQ

* * *

Akaito speaks

Yay! I get to spend the night at Mikuo's place! Although I have to force him to let me in...

Hey, I'm not bullying him. I had wanted to see his home for a long time now. Besides, knowing more about each other does wonders for relationship building, right?

I guess I'm still under Mikuo's magic. I want to know absolutely everything about him. I want to be there to catch his every move. I am (supposedly) the first person in his life to be able to do that, and I will do that before anyone else does.

Mikuo, you're mine! Muhahahaha...

... Oh God I'm crazy.

Being someone's first friend ever does strange things to one's mind.

No, I'm not in love. No way. I'm just very curious, you know. Yeah. I think.

Enough rambling. I am now in Mikuo's home, waiting in the living room while Mikuo prepares a place for me to sleep. I take out my homework and put it on the table. I absent-mindedly arrange my homework. English first, then Mathematics... Would it be better if I complete History first? Hm... Either way, I don't feel like doing it...

Mikuo walks in and sits down beside me.

"Oh, hi! You're back," I say.

He nods, his face expressionless.

"So let's deal with English first!" I reach out to take my notebook, my hand brushing against Mikuo's by accident.

He quickly pulls his hand away. I can only infer that he really is against my being in his house. He's retreating into his shell.

That's not what I wanted to see! We're supposed to be best buds!

I sigh as I realise I'd been too hard on Mikuo. I'm so stupid.

Mikuo speaks

You're not behaving properly, Mikuo! Get a hold of yourself! A guest in your home should not matter, and even more so when the guest is your friend!

C'mo, Mikuo. You can do it. A friend in the house is okay. Akaito in my home is okay. It's perfectly normal. Stop freaking out now. He's your friend, for goodness' sake, so treat him like one!

Akaito touches my arm. "Uh, Mikuo? You there?"

I look at him. Alright, Mikuo. Deal with this bravely. You can do it. "... Ah?"

Akaito smiles. Smiling is good. Very good. It means he likes the way I'm reacting. No problem. "I was starting to get worried. I've been calling you for ages. What's got you so occupied?"

"Uh... just some internal battle," I say.

Akaito's smile widens. "So you're getting accustomed to my presence here?"

I nod. Akaito's really good at guessing people's thoughts. He's really awesome.

"That's great." Akaito turns to the book lying open on the table. "Oh, and I've gotten through English without much trouble. Getting a headache over Maths..."

Maths? I'm quite okay at Maths. "Let me see," I say, offering to help.

"Let me just think some more about it." Akaito frowns. "I'm sure I'm getting to it."

"Okay," I say. I look around because I have nothing to do. This sounds stupid but with Akaito around, the familiar living room doesn't seem all that familiar anymore. For example, the photo of my family that we took on a trip to Europe. Miku and I were little children then. Back then we used to be really close... Ah, I'm drifting away. What I meant to say is that Akaito might see the photo and get curious and ask questions. It's like I'm seeing the room with Akaito's eyes. He might ask about my treasured collection of magazines displayed in the glass cabinet.

I'm feeling thirsty. I'll go get a glass of water. Is Akaito thirsty too? "Um... would you like to have some water?" I ask.

"That's be great. Thanks," he says, still focused on his homework.

I get up and walk to the kitchen. I take two glasses and start to fill them with water.

If Akaito comes in he'll ask about the blue frilly curtains. It's not like I like frills. I just like how well that shade of blue goes with the frills and the kitchen.

I finish filling up the glasses and take them to the living room.

I try to imagine what Akaito would say to the normal-looking glasses. Not much, I guess? They look normal but they're actually quite nice to look at and hold, besides having a capacity slightly larger than normal glasses out there.

I set a glass in front of Akaito.

He takes it and sips some of the water without even looking up. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." I like how Akaito loses sight of his surroundings when he's deeply concentrated on stuff. I feel more relaxed with less attention.

Akaito speaks

We're done with homework some time ago. Mikuo let me wash up before him so here I am, all ready to go to bed, waiting for Mikuo to finish washing up. My sleeping place is a futon next to his. Mine is pink-themed while his is white. I don't mind pink, but I wonder why he keeps a pink futon around. I mean, it could be blue or green or whatever, so why pink? Does he like pink? Ehehe...

The door to the bedroom opens and I quickly call out a "Hi, Mikuo", only to be shocked by the sight that greets me.

Mikuo's hair and eyes are teal! He actually looks a lot... cuter... Wait. What.

Mikuo sees my mouth hanging open. His cheeks start to redden. "H-hi..."

"Mikuo, you're... you're all... teal," I say, not sure how to express my surprise.

"Um, yes..." He looks down at his teal pajamas.

"I... I mean your hair... and eyes," I say.

"Oh." His hand goes to his hair. "I removed my wig and contact lenses, since I can't possibly sleep in them."

"... I thougt you dyed your hair," I say dumbly.

"Obviously I didn't." Mikuo drapes his towel over the back of a chair.

"Don't you feel hot, wearing a wig all day like that?" I ask. I can only imagine the immense heat... and SUMMER! How does he live through summer?!

"I got used to it," he says, "I don't move around a lot so it's not as hot as you'd expect."

I wonder if Mikuo's hair feels natural to the touch, like all natural hair does. The colour makes it look so fake... "Uh... can I touch it?" I ask. I try to imagine my fingers running through his hair. Will it be soft to the touch? Will some of it fall off?

Mikuo looks at me, seemingly confused.

"Your hair," I clarify, "I want to touch your hair. Can I?"

Mikuo seems to be troubled, but he nods anyway.

I walk up to him and pat his head carefully. His hair feels natural, as expected. Yet there's an unusual feeling about it. Maybe it's the colour.

Mikuo doesn't budge, letting me examine his hair quietly. His face is almost as red as my own hair. Poor thing. Still not used to physical contact, I think? Should I touch him more often? Agh, that sounds perverted.

I catch a whiff of his shampooed hair as I remove my hand.

I like it. Makes me feel relaxed. Drowsy, even.

Mikuo steps around me. "I'll turn off the lights now," he says, heading towards the switch on the wall.

"Okay," I say, flopping down on my futon.

Click. Darkness envelops the room.

I... I'm a bit scared of the dark, actually.

The sound of Mikuo settling in his futon reaches my ears.

In the dark, in an unfamiliar environment, with a close yet distant friend by my side...

An unknown fear creeps into my mind.

I... I'm scared. I shouldn't be scared. I'm with Mikuo. I'm in Mikuo territory. But I still don't feel safe...

Can't sleep at all...

"Um... Mikuo?" I whisper after a while.

No response. Oh God! He's already sleeping!

I feel around for some part of him to hold on to, so that I can ease my mind a bit by reminding myself that I'm not alone and I'm with a friend.

I am scared of the dark, and even more scared of being alone.

I touch his arm and rest my fingers on it.

Mikuo's stronger than I am. He faces loneliness almost every single day, while I could be crushed too easily by it.

I wonder how he feels, being alone like that.

It must be really painful.

I take a deep breath and imagine myself back home, in the bedroom I share with Kikaito, listening to Kikaito's breathing until I go to sleep.

I close my eyes and fall asleep.

* * *

A/N: I really feel like falling asleep myself. My chapters are getting longer and longer sigh... The last one's pretty short though. :P


	10. Chapter 10: Confusing feelings

A/N: Nearing the end... Just finished the new fanfic today, and it has only 5 chapters O_O

My writings are shrinking :P

* * *

Akaito speaks

Another school day again... Hey, what do you mean, you're tired of me speaking all the time? I thought you guys liked me!

Ahem, anyway, it's another school day again.

I enter the classroom and go to my seat which is being occupied by Luki.

"Hey, Akaito." Luki stands up and lets me have my seat. He seems excited.

"Morning." I sit down and lean back in the chair. "Wassup?"

"My sister, my beautiful dear Luka, is transferring here!" Luki exclaims, his usually bright sapphire eyes brigtening up a notch. They look like they're glowing... Geez.

"Congratulations, then." I grin. Luki has one undeniable characteristic: He's a siscon. There's absolutely nothing in the world he loves more than Luka.

"Oh, man... She's finally transferring here... Can you believe it? I can finally walk to and from the school with her. Every single day. Aw, man! LUKAAAA!" Luki throws his hands up in the air.

I laugh. I've never met Luka before, but according to what Luki said, she is way more sensible than her younger brother. That's a relief. The world doesn't need two Lukis; one is one too many.

The door slides open and Mikuo steps in, closing the door behind him. He looks at me, gives me a smile, then walks to his seat and sits down.

Luki looks at me. "That reminds me. Kikaito told me you slept with Mikuo last weekend. Congrats."

Agh, Kikaito! You don't have to tell Luki everything that happens in our house just because you're best buds since ages ago! I sigh. "Well, it's nothing, really. As long as he trusts me, Mikuo lets me do whatever I want."

Luki stares at me, then bursts out laughing. "Goodness, Akaito! Did you hurt him much? I bet you did."

"What's it got to do with hurting him?" I ask, puzzled. I then think back on our exchange of words seconds ago.

No. Way. Damn you, Luki!

Luki is laughing his cheeks red. Laugh all you like! I wish you'll suffocate!

"It's. Not. Like. That," I say loudly, grabbing Luki's moderately long hair and pulling hard, making him scream.

"S-stop that! Ah- Akaito! STOP!" Luki cries, tears in his eyes, "I'm gonna be bald!"

I let go of him."Why on earth would you think we're dating anyway?!"

Luki gives me a look. "Duh! I mean, well, come on. It's too obvious. If you haven't noticed it already, **you like Hatsune Mikuo**. All of the gang agrees to that. And Meito's not pleased."

"It's just a misunderstanding! You don't understand. Mikuo is different from you all. He needs extra care. He's a special case altogether," I explain.

Luki shakes his head. "No, Akaito. Meito's a loner. And Len, too, sometimes. Mikuo is the same. There's no difference."

"There is! You don't get it! Mikuo's case is really serious. He-"

"You know, Akaito," Luki says, cutting me off, "You know why Mikuo's different. You think he's different because you are in love with him."

"The heck are you talking about!" I slam my hand on the desk. Hard. "You don't know a thing, Luki. And if you know nothing, you better shut up."

"Fine." Luki shrugs, looking away. "We'll see what happens."

Mikuo speaks

This is beyond my understanding.

Akaito and Luki were talking in a friendly way, and then Akaito started bullying Luki, then they shouted at each other. This is confusing. I don't know what to make of it. It looks like they hate each other, but that can't be, since they're friends.

What were they shouting about again? Oh, right. They're talking about Akaito's feelings towards me, if I'm not mistaken.

Does it really matter? I don't know. I want to talk to Akaito.

Luki has gone back to his seat now. Both he and Akaito look... angry, I think? Disturbed? Annoyed? Frustrated?

I slowly stand up and walk towards Akaito. He sees me coming and his eyes widen a bit.

"Good morning," I say, standing in front of him.

"Morning, Mikuo," he replies, a smile quickly replacing the frown on his face.

"Are you okay?" I ask. I haven't thought of what to talk to Akaito about. I just want to talk to him... He's... happy to see me, I guess?

"A bit upset, but I'm fine." Akaito's smile widens.

I nod. He's happy that I'm concerned about him.

"Say, what do you think of the whole thing?" He asks. "I know you heard what he said."

"I don't know," I answer truthfully.

He sighs. "To be honest, I don't know what's going on either."

I nod. So we're all pretty clueless.

"Whatever my feelings might be, we're still friends, right?" He is looking at the ceiling now. "I mean, well... I don't know what I mean."

I nod again. He's rambling.

"So, uh..." He's feeling troubled. Trapped. Because he doesn't know what to say to me. The easiest solution? Move away.

"I'm going back to my seat," I say. Then I do as I said.

Time to make some clarifications here. I'm currently trying to understand people's feelings by observing their reactions. It's a little game I used to play often when I was younger. I get confused at times, though. When it gets too confusing, I stop playing. Then everything's fine again.

It's tiring, but worth it. The more I make sense of people's thoughts and feelings, the easier it is for me to blend in and go with the flow. Then maybe someday I'll get so used to it that I might forget I was ever scared of people. Yes, I actually want to cure my fear of people.

It's comfortable getting all the protection and care just because I'm scared of people, but then I feel weak and totally useless.

I've got a friend now. I've got Akaito now. I must make myself reliable, because friends rely on each other.

I must be strong, so that Akaito can rely on me too.

I'm stepping forward. Over the edge.

And because I do it for Akaito, I want to believe that it's worth it.

Hm, but can I really cure my fear by playing the game? Will the game turn into an effortless automatic thinking system?

Why do I feel scared of people? What did I see in them that scares me so much?

I don't know, because I'm too scared to look.

Maybe I can try comparing Akaito to people in general. What is it about him that cures my fear of him? If I can pinpoint that element, it'll be easy to cure my fear of people too.

But everyone's different so maybe that can't work...

All this thinking is messing up my system and rules! I'll have to change everything to accomodate my wish to stop fearing people, get strong, and be reliable for Akaito and future friends. My abnormal thinking has to be tuned to normal frequency for all that to happen, but I have no idea what 'normal' means...

So, to be normal, I have to observe what people in general do and think. Instead of just playing the game, I'll have to imitate them. In order to imitate them, I have to understand and apply their thinking completely, so that everything works out in logic and I can make a system out of it and follow the system.

Then there's this little problem of people getting shocked at my change, but that'll wear off soon. I've seen a demonstration of that before.

There's also this problem of change. I'm equally scared of change as I am of people.

Wait a minute, that means...

I get it now! Change means unstability, no definition, absolutely unpredictable. That's also the case with people.

The reason I'm scared of people is that they're always changing!

If I get enough courage to change, then I'll get used to change, then I'll eventually stop fearing people. I just need to accept the concept of change, as conceptless as it is. The concept of change is simple: it's bound to happen, and the timid gets left behind.

I am timid.

I'm going to be brave now. I need the little push and surge of energy to do it.

I need to go over the edge, and never return.

* * *

A/N: Yes, I know. Mikuo thinks a lot.

Next chapter coming up!


	11. Chapter 11: I am and you are

A/N: Nothing to say here, except that this is where some real admitted BL comes in :P

* * *

Mikuo speaks

I am in the counsellor's office now. The counsellor is a new teacher called Megurine Luka. She is Luki's older sister. She has long pink hair and kind blue eyes. I like her smile. It looks natural and pleasant.

"Hello, Mikuo," she says in a friendly voice.

I'm nervous so I stare at my hands."H-hi..."

"Luki told me about you, though he didn't say much," she says.

"Oh." I can't work up the mood to play the game now. I'm terrified.

"Relax, Mikuo. I won't hurt you," she says. She must have seen my trembling hands.

I don't know how to relax. I keep silent.

"Can you tell me why your hair is a different colour from that in the picture of your identity card?" she asks.

That's easy. "I am wearing a wig," I answer. I'm actually doing great, even though I'm scared. Like I did when I was still with Akaito. Megurine-sensei is going to be a friend, I think, a friend like Akaito.

"You **are** wearing a wig?" she asks, pressing on the 'are' - present tense.

"Yes," I say.

"Why?" she asks.

I freeze. That's hard to answer. I need to construct sentences. Um, because I have a sister who wants to be a singer and I don't want that to happen so I change my hair and eye colour so I won't be recognised a her brother but I can't change my name so I'll be recognised anyway but I still want to attract less attention- Oh! Right, I'll just say...

"I want to attract less attention," I answer.

"Is too much attention bad?" she asks.

"Yes," I say.

"Why?"

Why does she have to ask 'why'?! And what is she asking? Why is too much attention bad? If it's not bad, then what is it? "I don't understand the question," I tell her.

"Why do you think too much attention is bad?" she asks.

Why do I think...? Oh! "Because I don't like it," I say.

"I see." She nods. "Are you comfortable talking to me?"

"I don't know." I'm still partly nervous, but I'm beginning to trust her. Teachers are easier to trust because, well, they're teachers.

She smiles at me. "You are very handsome," she says.

I feel my face heat up. "... T-thank you," I say.

She laughs lightly. "You can go now. I'll see you around."

I nod, then leave the office.

Akaito speaks

"So? My sister is gorgeous, right?" Luki asks as soon as he sees Mikuo walking towards us. "She's the most beautiful woman in the world. That's my Luka!"

Mikuo doesn't answer. He looks at me instead. "I think Megurine-sensei will be my friend," he says, "Like you."

"That's great," I say, smiling. Even though I feel kind of... upset. He's starting to have friends other than me. I should feel happy for him, but I feel kind of disappointed. I know, I'm such a rotten friend.

He smiles. "Soon I'll be able to have many friends like you."

Is tha necessary?! "But too many friends can be troubling," I say.

"I guess." He laughs a little.

"You guys sure know how to ignore me," Luki says, "I'm not invisible, you know." He waves a hand in front of me.

"Well, yeah, cuz you're annoying." I glare at him.

"Fine. I'll go talk with Gakupo." Luki strides away.

Mikuo watches him go. "Actually I want to tell you something."

"Yes?" I prod.

He looks at me. "I've decided to conquer my fear of people."

"Oh. That's... wonderful," I say. In reality I'm starting to feel helpless. I'm losing hold of him. He's moving away. I selfishly don't want him to.

He smiles in relief.

"Why... the sudden change?" I ask.

He looks at me, then looks away. "I want to be of help to you. I want to be strong so that I can help my friend."

If it's all about being strong, it's easy to handle. "You don't have to change. I think you're strong enough as you are. Really," I say.

He turns his gaze back on me and blinks. "Uh...?"

His confused expression makes me feel a bit guilty so I say, "But if you want to get stronger, go ahead. Come to me if you face any trouble, 'kay?"

He smiles. "Okay." The smile confirms my decision.

Letting go isn't easy, but then again I always choose the hard way in the end.

Bring it on. Whatever new friends Mikuo will make, I'm still his first and hopefully closest. Friends should be supportive of each other, so, Mikuo, you have my support. Go show them what you're made of! I'm sure it's good stuff, because I've seen it myself.

"Akaito, can I have a word with you for a while?"

I look up to see Gakupo standing in front of me, next to Mikuo. When did he come over? I thought Luki was talking to him? "Oh, sure," I say.

"Please excuse us," Gakupo says to Mikuo.

Mikuo nods.

Gakupo motions for me to follow him. We stop walking a distance away from Mikuo. I'm really curious now. Did anything happen?

"Akaito, you can't go on like this," Gakupo says first thing.

"Like what?" I frown. What is he talking about?

"Mikuo doesn't know what friends do. Stop misleading him. If you really love him, go tell him," Gakupo says with a straight face. Huh. I guess Luki talked to him about it.

"I said it's not like that," I say, growing tired of this topic, "I'm not in love with him, alright? It's just that he's a special case and I have to take extra care when interacting with him."

"You're trying to run away from the problem, Akaito," he tells me.

"There is no such problem in the first place. I thought you'd understand," I say. Gakupo is the most understanding person in the gang.

"You can't deceive our eyes." Gakupo sighs. "My eyes, especially. I know that look on your face when Mikuo's around. You love him."

Heat rushes to my face, whether I like it or not. Damn it. "Shut up, Gakupo. That's not it."

Gakupo shakes his head slowly. "Do I have to give you evidence? Well, okay, I'll give you evidence. Remember when we asked if you liked Meito? You answered no. Simple as that. You didn't make any explanations. But for Mikuo, you keep saying that he's special and whatnot. Isn't this obvious enough?"

"T-that's...!" I don't know how to deny that. Agh... "But you can't say for sure that it's love!"

"I can't?" Gakupo has a knowing look in his eyes that say, 'I know you know perfectly well that I can. So there.'

"Y-yeah! You can't!" My voice is shaky now...

"You're blushing, and you're getting as red as your hair," he says.

"Okay! Let's say I really have feelings for him. So what?" I cry.

"Go tell him. And don't worry, we'll still support you." Gakupo smiles.

"I haven't actually admitted, you know," I remind him.

"It's just a matter of time." Gakupo shrugs. "I'll leave you two alone now. Go to him. We'll watch from a distance."

"'We'?" I ask.

"Yeah. The rest of the gang." He waves and walks away.

... Are you forgetting something? I'm not in love with Mikuo!

I sigh and walk back to Mikuo. "Hey," I say.

"Hi." Mikuo nods.

"You waited," I say. What am I saying.

"Yes," he says.

Do I love him? Yes? No? Yes? No? What is the answer? Must there be an answer? Can't I leave it blank? "You see, Gakupo was lecturing me about, um, how I... feel... towards you and stuff... Y'know."

"Oh." He doesn't seem to be affected by it.

I look at him and see a tiny bit of teal hair mixed in with the black. I reach out and touch it. "Your real hair is showing," I say.

"I was in a hurry this morning," he says.

I then realise that I had fallen in love a long, long time ago. They're right. Friends don't do this.

No way I'd admit it out loud.

So what if I loved him. I'm not going to tell him. He doesn't need to worry about love problems right now when he's all focused on changing himself. No. I won't tell him.

I take my hand away, heaving a sigh.

He looks at me curiously. "Why are you sighing?"

"Nothing much. I just remembered I had something to tell Luki. I'll be off now." I walk away without waiting for him to reply. I head in the direction of the gang who were in hiding.

"Did you tell him?" Gakupo and Luki ask in unison.

"No," I tell them. I walk past them, headed for home.

* * *

A/N: Bittersweet much? Ah I don't know... That'll be all for today! Thanks for reading once again!


	12. Chapter 12: What happened to you?

A/N: Last two chapters! I'm so happy :D

* * *

Mikuo speaks

I don't know how to formulate a plan to make friends. I think I'll just go with the flow. Megurine-sensei had called me to her office again, so I am now sitting in the office. She puts a cup of tea in front of me.

"I am very interested in you, Mikuo," she says, sitting down.

I don't know if I should respond to that so I keep silent.

She continues, "And your friend. Shion Akaito, is it?"

"Yes," I say. I think back on the other day when he left hurriedly in the middle of a conversation. I waited for him since he said he had to talk to Luki. It shouldn't take too long, but he didn't return. I think I made the wrong assumption then.

"He is your only friend?" she asks.

"Yes," I answer. For now, I suppose. Megurine-sensei could be a friend soon.

"Don't you want to have other friends?"

"I do." I'll get many friends and be normal. I'll answer questions the way normal people do. I'll start topics on my own without feeling awkward. I'll understand the difference between rhetorical questions and real questions. I'll be perfectly reliable then, for the sake of Akaito and future friends.

"Will you be friends with me?" Megurine-sensei asks.

"Yes," I say.

"Are we friends now?"

I think for a while. "Yes." Even though she hasn't really taken the test, I know she will pass. She's a teacher. Teachers can be trusted.

Megurine-sensei smiles.

Since she is a friend, she won't hurt me. I won't feel scared when I'm with her. I can trust her. I smile back. "Thank you," I say.

She nods. "You're welcome."

I can't wait to tell Akaito the good news. I've got a new friend today! I've started on the journey to become a normal person. I can't help but let my smile widen. Akaito will be proud of me.

I know! I'll make more friends right now. Becoming friends doesn't need an official vow or something, so I can make friends in my mind right now. Let's see... The gang! Right! They're all Akaito's friends so they can be trusted. Since they can be trusted, I will trust them and make them my friends!

Wow! I've got seven friends already. That should be enough to make me a normal person. I will talk to them and get used to them, and by doing so I'll improve my social skills and be reliable for them!

And then maybe I can be reconciled with my sister. I won't mind being a singer's brother anymore. Then all can be perfect at last.

I'm getting excited! When I succeed, I won't be useless anymore. Akaito will be glad.

"Mikuo, are you listening?" Megurine-sensei's voice says.

Okay, now I have to imitate a normal person's way of talking. I can do this. I'm not Hatsune Mikuo anymore. I'm a normal person. People don't scare me anymore. I know what to say. At all times. "I'm sorry. You're saying?" I answer. Good! It's a great start.

"Are you feeling well? I'll dismiss you now, alright? Go get some rest," she says.

"Okay," I answer. I leave the room after saying goodbye and bowing.

Starting tomorrow, I'll stop wearing the wig and contact lenses. I have no reason to fear anymore. I can do this. Put aside all the logic nonsense and just do it!

Now to find Akaito.

I go to the classroom and there he is, doing homework.

"Akaito, I've got great news to tell you. I have seven friends now. Megurine-sensei and the gang. Isn't it great?" I announce as I stand in front of him.

He looks at me with a shocked expression. "... Mikuo...?"

"Why are you looking so surprised? It's me alright," I say, smiling.

"No... nothing. You... look like you've gone through a renovation," he says, "I guess Luka-sensei helped a lot?"

"Mm, yeah, you can put it like that." I look at his homework. "What homework are you doing? English, I see... I can help you with that."

"Oh, uh... sure...?"

This is awesome. I feel like I'm rolling downhill, putting worries and fears behind me and running ahead, embracing the world as it is.

I feel invincible. This is much better than the timid, useless Mikuo.

Akaito speaks

What happened to you, Mikuo?

I can't seem to ask him properly. It's like he's turned into another person altogether. He said my name without hesitating! This is impossible, dammit!

Love? Hah! I don't even know this Mikuo anymore!

What the heck happened to you, Mikuo? You on drugs or something? Was it caffeine? You drunk? Heck, it's Luka isn't it!

"Yo, Akaito and Mikuo!" Luki says, coming towards us.

"Hey, Luki!" Mikuo replies with enthusiasm.

Luki looks shocked. "Are you... Mikuo?"

"Of course I am!" Mikuo laughs. "I'm Hatsune Mikuo, really."

Did he just say his name like that?!

No way... this can't be Mikuo! No freaking way!

It's like Mikuo just lost his fragile twinkling rainbow and turned into a good old monochrome television.

He lost his magic, the same magic that made me interested in him.

I'm not friends with this Mikuo; I'm best buds (and in love) with the other one!

"Akaito, won't you come to lunch with us?" Mikuo asks, looking at me.

"I'll pass," I say.

"Aren't you hungry?" he asks again. Luki nods in agreement.

"I'll eat alone." I don't eat lunch with strangers.

"Ah, just leave him alone. He does that sometimes," Luki says to Mikuo, "Let's go. The gang's waiting."

Mikuo looks at me questioningly, then follows Luki out.

Alright, so Mikuo succeeded in being normal, but is normal good at all?

I miss him terribly.

That little, trembling figure with his heart bursting with determination and bravery, passing challenge after terrifying challenge, being simply himself in everything.

I want him back so badly that I fear I won't ever see him again.

* * *

A/N: Onward to the next chapter!


	13. Chapter 13: Own separate paths

A/N: Super short ending lah lah lah...

* * *

Mikuo speaks

My dream of being normal is realised at last.

I can be relied on now.

I hum as I get into bed. I feel so carefree already. Nothing can stop me now.

So what if Akaito distance himself. I still have six friends.

I'll be meeting my sister tomorrow. I'll apologise for running away and tell her I'm okay with her wanting to be a singer and move back to my old home.

I can't wait to get out of this silent apartment.

So what if I had a relatively happy time here when Akaito came over last time.

I wipe my tear-streaked face on my pillow and go to sleep.

Akaito speaks

This will be my last time speaking here, I guess.

Look over there. See that teal-haired boy playing basketball like a pro? Yeah, that one.

His name is Hatsune Mikuo.

We used to be very close, but now I don't know him anymore.

See that smile on his face? I've seen a happier one on that same face. Lots happier.

And that determination in those teal eyes? I've seen greater ones in those same eyes, except that they were black.

Let's keep that a secret and let him walk the path he has chosen. After all he's been through, he deserves it.

Even if he's not him anymore.

I hope you'll be happy, Mikuo. Happy every day.

That's all. Goodbye. See you.

* * *

A/N: The end! Sad ending, I know, but sometimes life's just like that, right?

I wanna write a sequel with a proper happy ending but I also think that this ending is good enough for me, so I probably won't write a sequel whatsoever. You can, if you wanna. Just inform me about it :D


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